Sunday, March 9, 2014

The Pines Visited 3/8/2014 2.5 Forks

The Pines 284 3rd Ave., BrooklynNY 11215



This review is going to sound a lot more harsh than it should be but in all honesty, I think the whole night just started off on a bad foot and it dragged through the entire meal.  A bunch of us were in the Gowanus area for a friend's housewarming party on 4th Ave and I had heard some many great things about The Pines that it only made sense for us to try it.  I mean, the likelihood of all or any of us being in that area soon is pretty slim to none so I jumped on making a reservation for us. 

I booked the reservation online 5 days in advance and on the day of they call to confirm my reservation - totally normal and ok.  They then call again 2 minutes before our 7pm reservation asking if we were indeed coming because they had a full house and had a wait list already - I was a bit annoyed but said I was around the corner and would be right in.   When I walk in the host says notices that my entire party was not with me - I mean, unless you are a couple, most people are not coming from the same place and it's off what is possibly the worst train area known to man, so yeah - we're not all here yet.  He then tells me that if they are not all here in 10 minutes they are giving our table away.  I look around and the place is half empty and I said that if that was the case, I wish they had said something to me when they called to confirm so that we all knew to be super prompt.  I was told that "you should know that, it's restaurant standard."  Um - I get that restaurants can't hold tables indefinitely but how am I to know that the restaurant was "sooo busy" that we couldn't have just waited it out?  Of course the subways are a mess, the girls all get lost and it was way past our 7pm reservation.  There aren't that many other options around, so I was worried that we might have to hoof it up to 5th ave for food.  Luckily, as a compromise the host said he could seat us at the bar if we wanted to - which is totally fine and honestly if that had been our original seating, it would have been fine and we could have avoided that whole snippy exchange to begin with. 

The vibe of this place is that trend that's hit Brooklyn like a tons of brick:  a slightly pretentious rustic old timey feel.  It reminded me of Vinegar Hill House but it wasn't as good.  Although I have nothing but total love for Brooklyn, I get why places like this turn people off to Brooklyn.  The menu changes seasonly and is based off of what ingredients are in for that season.  My original take was the the prices were way too high for the location and type of food it was:  $5 for a piece of cheese, appetizers were all $15+ and entrees $25+.  When did that become the norm for eating out?!  We decided to split the 2 cheeses (Moses Sleeper and Hudson Red), the cabbage appetizer ($16) and the carrots ($15) and I got the kelp spaghetti ($29) while Krush and Jill both got the duck leg ($29) and Amy got a pasta dish (exact name escapes me at the moment).  The cheeses were good (the Moses Sleeper was like a soft brie and the Hudson Red was a firmer cheese) but it was served with 1 quarter chunk of bread which was not enough for all of us and when we asked for more bread they tried to up sell us on the bread plate (yes, they don't offer you bread, you have to buy it) for $6.  We opted not to get it and they luckily brought us another chunk.  The cabbage was a purple cabbage with maitake mushrooms, cauliflower and boar belly (on the side for Amy).  The dish was a nice alternative to what you would think of boring cabbage but it was also so dark in the restaurant that it was really hard to tell what we were eating.  The carrots were whole carrots that looked like it was literally pulled directly out of the ground and served with buttermilk and pistachio - I'm not a huge carrot fan but this is was done well enough that I was willing to finish an entire stick of carrot.  It almost tasted like a potato in this weird way.  

Then we just waited and waited and waited for our entrees.  To the point that we asked where our food was.  It didn't help that most of us were hungry when we walked in and the appetizer portions just weren't enough to satisfy anyone.  Finally when our food comes out, its presented in a way that just told me that we weren't going to be full afterwards.  My pasta dish came with pieces of lobster, red chili, a poached egg and uni.  I didn't really see or taste any uni but the dish did have a think creamy consistency - so maybe that's where it was.  The dish was tasty but definitely not worth almost $30.  While I think Amy liked her pasta and both Jill and Krush finished their entire duck leg entree, I feel like the general consensus was that we were a bit underwhelmed and frankly just wanted to start the night over again.  

While the waitstaff was nice and I did kiss and make up with the host, the whole night just really started off poorly for us and it never recovered.  Although I try to extol the virtues of how amazing Brooklyn is, I don't think I did a good job convincing the girls of it this time.  Total bill:  $70/pp with drinks, tax and tip. 

Photo Credit:  Yelp

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